To a Heart That’s Breaking

A heartbreak will be nothing less than a heartbreak: painful and unwanted. And most often than not, we look for valid reasons behind the unrequited love - not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, not being worthy enough. Name all of the reasons you can think of, it still won’t make the pain any less. And even when you find all the reasons you can come up with, it still won’t make the person love you the way you want to be loved if he really doesn’t.

Bottom line: IF he loves you, there’ll be no ifs, no buts. Some people may say you should go fight for him but the thing is, if he really loves you, you no longer have to fight to him, nor will you have to go against the odds just to have a trifling portion of momentary bliss.

Bottom line: IF he loves you, he knows what to do and that is to give you no less than what you deserve. And we all know that this is not it.

Bottom line: IF he loves you, he will stop messing with your mind, your heart, your life. He has done more than enough to do that and that in itself is a manifestation that he doesn’t love you enough to choose you.

Bottom line: IF he loves you, he will not allow you to cry all the tears you have because if he really does, he will be the one to fix your broken heart without him being asked. Or should I say, he shouldn’t have been the reason your heart is breaking, in the first place.

Bottom line: IF he loves you, you no longer have to ask if he does.

Bottom line: IF he loves you, you shouldn’t be in this position in the first place.

You’ve loved more of him and less of you for the longest time already. It’s time you learn to love yourself more because only then will you be able to pull yourself out. And always remember that NO MATTER WHAT, LOVING YOURSELF CAN HEAL ANYTHING.

Credits go out to Chello Teves Dico (http://littlemisswriter12.blogspot.com/) for this post. I am assuming that she wrote this for me. Hehehe. I really appreciated this. Love you! ♥ 

February - The love month?

It's the first day of February and the timeline in my Twitter starts to display tweets about it being the start of the Love month. The same goes to the news feed in my Facebook account. So what do I feel about this? A little annoyed and excited. 

Why annoyed? First and foremost, I think they don't really mean February as the love month. They only said that because it is the month where Valentine's day is being celebrated. Can't every month be the "love" month? Huh? But I don't see anything wrong with the person saying that..I just found something wrong with the message itself. Second, I've been single for two years already. For my close friends, this is the farthest I've gone without having a "special someone". Two years of being single meant two years of celebrating valentines without a love life. I feel annoyed when some people (even my friends) pressure me on finding a date. It makes me feel that it is a requirement of some sort to a "happy" life. I know they just want me to have FUN on this "love" day but that doesn't mean I can't be happy if I spend valentines day without a date, right?

Valentine's Day. Feb 2009. Celebrated it at TOSH with bestfriend Christine

 Why excited? Because my friends and my Mom are celebrating their birthdays this month. My nephew will also be baptized this month which is something I'm looking forward to. And on Valentines day, even though I've been single for two years, I have a planned date with my bestfriend and my family. You see, two years ago, I spent my Valentines with my bestfriend Christine and the last year was spent with  my family because it was a sunday. Even though it doesn't feel the same as when you're having a date with your boyfriend on Valentines day, I actually enjoyed spending it with Christine and my family. I don't have to dress up beautifully nor do I have to smell that good. Haha! And I don't have to act cheesy because I know that I can just act normal. Haha! But seriously though, I'm still happy even without a boyfriend on V-day.

So to those who are in a relationship, complicated or not, may you have the loveliest Valentines Day celebration evaaah!

And for those who are single, like me, don't despair. There are sooo many ways to celebrate Heart's day. So go ahead and plan something wonderful and fun! :)

Retweets

I started joining twitter around August of 2010. My friend Christine has been forcing me to make an account there because its fun and really interesting. So one day, when I got bored, I decided to make one. And man, was it really FUN! I followed local and international celebrities, musicians, and famous authors. To date, I have 53 followers, most of which I know. My account used to be private but in order for me to get more followers (hehe) and for me to be able to embed it in my blogsite, I decided to make it Public. At first, I was really hesitant because I might get in trouble with some of my tweets. But what the heck! It's my account, so I can do whatever I want. Right? :)

The usual people that I tweet with are my friends. There are times that I tweet celebrities but it doesn't usually get recognized. I understand because they have a lot of followers who tweet them also, so I don't mind really if they don't get to tweet me back. But last night, while I was reading the Feb 2011 issue of StarStudio magazine, I tweeted that I love Toni Gonzaga so much and that Chokoleit's house was nice and also, Jasmine Curtis Smith is pretty. To my surprise, Chokoleit retweeted my tweet. Hahaha! I was happy enough with that. Then after reading the feature on Jasmine Curtis-Smith (Anne's little sister), I tweeted this:

I wasn't expecting Anne Curtis or Jasmine Curtis-Smith to respond or recognize my tweet. But I was shocked when I saw this:

I was so happy when I saw this. I've tweeted a lot of celebrities but like I said, I'm not expecting them to tweet back. I know it's medyo mababaw of me to be so happy about this, but I really am! Plus, I also feel kilig. Hahahaha! The fan in me just got out from the cage. Hahaha! And guys, I really meant what I tweeted. I am a huge fan of the Gonzaga and Curtis-Smith sisters. ♥

Thanks Jasmine for replying to my tweet. I super appreciate it. And Good luck on your future endeavors. :)

Weddings and Ex Boyfriends

Get ready for a long read on my blog. Haha! I'm quite inspired to talk about weddings, lost love and soon-to-be-found love. I hope you'll enjoy this. :)

You know what they say that it's every girls dream to get married to their prince charming? Well, I'm one of those girls. Ever since I became a teenager, I've dreamt of getting married one day to my ideal guy and we'd start a family of four and we'd live in a bungalow type of house with a big lawn for the kids to play around. Then we'd work hard and invest on some business so we can create a beach house that we can go to everytime we need to have a vacation. Believe me, I have a long list for this. Hahahaha! So anyway, I decided to talk about weddings because I was watching videos from Jason Magbanua (see his amazing works). He is a famous wedding videographer and by famous, I really mean FAMOUS! He's the wedding videographer of Judy Ann Santos-Ryan Agoncillo, Rica Peralejo-Joe Bonifacio, and many more local celebs! I'm guessing his services are worth big bucks! Well, he does make cool and really really romantic same day edit wedding videos. They're to die for! And it really brings me to tears everytime I watch his videos! Haaaai. 

Whenever I watch the videos, it makes me look back on the boyfriends I've had and it made me realize what a tragedy (and a big waste of money) it would be if I ended up marrying one of my exes and then get separated because he found something unlovable about me. That would be "ouch!" right? So, in a way, I'm thankful that they broke my heart because I know that the pain they bought upon me will pave the way for me to find and be found by my prince charming. Hahaha! Just for the information of everybody, since I'm talking about my ex's here, let me tell you that I've had three serious boyfriend-girlfriend relationships and two just-for-fun and i'm-still-innocent-at-that-time relationships. Hahaha! That's a total of five. Hehehe. Here's a brief description on my three serious bf-gf relationships:

1) Good boy/Inocente de ti guy - Let's just call him C. The oh-so good boy who was my first serious boyfriend. We lasted for 7 months. Really good guy but I guess I'm not the right girl for him. That means, good boy and medyo pasaway girl aren't the perfect combination sometimes. :)

2) Sporty but romantic guy - His initials are JJ. He was really romantic and very sporty. He loves to play soccer (he is a varsity) and basketball. He was also good in class. Belonged to the top section while I, on the other hand, did just fairly well in class. Hahaha! We lasted for 1 year and 10 months. In the middle of those months, we encountered four short break ups. Then we both decided to really call it quits because it just wasn't working anymore. I really admired JJ. He was very romantic. He wooed me through love letters and poems. Bought me simple gifts even when there's no occasion. But I guess, we aren't the perfect two also. Pero we're still good friends until now.

Note: Of all my ex's, JJ is the only one who remained as my friend. We get to communicate still once in a while. Awesome, isn't it? :)

3) Geeky/Achiever/Shy Guy - Let him be known as triple A. I will be really honest in telling you dear readers that I've seriously considered him as my "the one". But it was really, really too early to tell because look where we ended up with my supposedly "the one" guy. Hahaha! Seriously though, triple A was by far the only guy who had my parents approval. He was into academics and extra-curricular activities in school. He got good grades and was almost always on the Dean's Lister. He was known to most people as the shy and too-good-to-even-break-a-plate type of guy. But if you knew him better, he is, in some way, really the opposite. Our love story started with us being good friends. We lasted for 3 years. Broke my heart terribly. I lost weight and had a hard time moving on. It took me almost a year to get on with my life without him. YES! That long. I lost my bestfriend. That broke my heart even more. :( He's happy now, by the way. I am happy too! :) Sad thing is, we CAN'T communicate anymore. Bawal na kasi eh! hehehe :)

So you see, it was a good thing that I had to get my heart broken. It taught me to better appreciate the next (hopefully my ever-after) guy who's going to just make me believe that there is indeed a meaning to it all. And by "it" I mean the heart breaks. :) By the way, have you noticed that I gave quite a longer description with triple A compared to C and JJ? Hahahah! Oh well...

If you've seen the videos of Jason Magbanua, you'll notice how most of the brides say during their recital of vows that they've married their bestfriend, their confidante. Well, I want the same thing too - To marry my bestfriend (And I'm not referring to triple A). I have always believed that there comes a time in your relationship that the romance dies. But when that time comes, it is always important to still have the friendship. It usually saves a dying relationship. Trust me on that. :)

I know I'm still too young to get married (or even talk about it) and it's going to take a while before I walk down the aisle. But I know I'm closer to finding my kind of guy. The one that God is going to include in my life story. He may not be my ideal guy but I know he'll be my REAL guy. And we'll pretty make damn sure that Jason Magbanua will be our wedding videographer so that everyone will know how surreal it was to marry my "Right" man. :) So until then, I'll just allow myself to drown in tears watching Jason Magbanua's videos and get really jealous of those girls who finally found their "the one". Hahaha.